I find that our culture focuses so much on what I consider to be the Unhealthy Voice aspect of it. I think if we look at it in a different way, we can actually go deeper into the reflection and meaning behind the season. So I’m writing this today to help you go to that place – to get a deeper meaning than what we see on the surface.

What DO we see on the surface with Lent?

“I have to give up something. What am I going to give up?” We go into restriction mode, almost like the diet. We see someone with ashes and either judge them or judge ourselves and think “I should get ashes.” We feel guilty, because we are such sinners there is nothing powerful enough to give up to make up for our sins and what Jesus has done for us. “How could giving up chocolate possibly compare?” We compare ourselves to Christ dying on the cross (seriously?) or how big our friend’s sacrifice is, how much they are giving up. We beat ourselves up for not giving up enough, “I’ve got to do this perfectly this time.” The list could probably go on and on….

So I want to tell you what I’m doing today, what I’m doing over the next forty days and finish it off with 10 Tips on what you can do this Lent.

What am I doing today?

Well, this morning I did my meditation.

I’m listening to the soundtrack from the movie The Mission as I write this. I picked it up the other day at Waterloo Records for three bucks with a few others that remind me of Dad – music is a huge part of my grief process right now.

I’m going to get ashes with Ali this afternoon. I’m not going to walk in with my head down. I’m going to walk in with my heart open because I know the spirit lives within me. He’s not just up there, He’s in my heart. I found Him there almost four years ago and he’s always there. So today I can celebrate that. I can celebrate that he meets me where I’m at and loves me no matter what has happened or what I feel or think. If I just keep turning to Him, letting him lead me, leading an honest life, walking with Him beside me – I’m taking steps in His direction. He’s not there keeping score.(Granger Community Church just did a very powerful series on this. Click here to watch the preview.). That whole keeping score thing is mine, not his. He loves me. He. Just. Loves. Me. If I Let him and if I let him, I get a relationship with him. It’s AWESOME awesome stuff. But it’s just the stuff that works for me….we’ve all got our own path.

(Oh and when I go I’m going to have this image in my head. Check out the guy in the photo on the right. Pops at St. Matthews cathedral last Ash Wednesday, apparently ended up on the cover of The Washington Times and I didn’t see it until a few months after he passed. I just about lost it. But today I have a close-up of him on my dresser back at home. It’s angelic to me. He’ll be in the pew next to me, holding my hand in spirit. I know.)

Then later this evening Ali and I are going to yoga by candlelight. I plan on opening my heart again and releasing my mind on the mat.

Over the next forty days?

I started off my day yesterday walking around Town Lake, Austin listening to a podcast by Christine Caine, a profound leader and speaker from Australia. It was called “Leadership and Ministry Pt 5″ and she spoke about the heart, mind and soul. That would be the first of three times I’d listen to the podcast that day. She blew me away (as she always does) and said something very powerful about how leaders fall (and really anyone falls). She said, “We get caught up with external behavior modification rather than internal transformation and everything flows from the inside out.” What a great thing to hear the day before Lent starts. So, I’m setting an intention this Lent. It’s really just continuing to walk in the path of the Healthy Voice. Yes – it’s taking care of my physical self – working out, eating right for me. But it’s beyond that – the transformation stuff of  - keeping my heart, mind and soul strong. There is no better time than now for me to do that. I’m mourning the loss of my father. I’m more connected to God than ever. But he’s got to do the work and I’ve just got to be willing to go there with Him.

I’m also going to try to filter my Unhealthy and Healthy Voice – especially with those people in person, online and in social media who really just trigger my Unhealthy Voice. We all get triggered on Facebook. We are human. Whether they are train wrecks or we stay friends with them because we quietly compare our lives to theirs – maybe it’s time that we turn down our inner critic and give them less power, by noticing how much power we’re giving them, blocking them or doing whatever we have to do. For some of us maybe that does mean getting off Facebook all together, but there is a lot of positive stuff on Facebook and I know I’m going to focus on that – or at least that’s what Ali and I were talking about doing this morning! Maybe focusing less on someone else’s chaos will help us to go deeper within ourselves.

Meditation is a big part of my journey and connection to others. Both have to be. It’s about relationship with people on the path next to me and relationship with the spirit within that keep me strong. So the places that I find that – I’m just going to commit to connect more deeply in relationship.

So that’s what I’m up to…

10 Tips for How You can Go Within

1) Take some time today to do what helps you meditate and go within.  Paint, write, go out in nature, meditate, do yoga – whatever it is – go there.  Do some form of it every day, even for 10 minutes during this season. Don’t think there is some perfect way to meditate. THere is just a way that works for you…and you’ve got to find it. You may have already been doing it all your life and you just don’t know it, and it doesn’t have to be just one thing. It’s not just one thing for me!!

2) Pick something to get grounded in the physical. It will help you tap into that source within you – that light that is being muddled by whatever you are turning to that you haven’t been able to give up.

3) Go beyond abstaining from it. Go within. Don’t just abstain from it and think that the heavens are going to open up. Work it. Feel the feelings physically. How does it make you feel to be off of it? How calm do you feel in your mind? How much are your emotions coming up? Do you notice how much you’ve been using it to numb your feelings? Journal about them. Do not let them take over your life. Remember God is there to help you. That’s why you are doing this.

4) Turn to others. If you go 40 days without something, you are going to have withdrawals. When I abstained from sugar and flour, alcohol etc. it was hell. I had help. Get the help. Let the spirit meet you. Let your friends meet you. This isn’t about, “How do you not eat sugar?” It’s about, “How do I get through what feelings are coming up as I give this up?” It’s not about the SUBSTANCE, remember that.

5) Journal about it. Write down what you are feeling. If you are coming off something you’ve been using you are going to be feeling some seriously powerful emotions. Write. Them. Down. Use this as a time of reflection. It’s a better time than any and will help you stay focused when you want to go back to the substance.

6) Remember this isn’t about using lent to get perfect. My quote today says it all: “Remember that fear always lurks behind perfectionism. Confronting your fears and allowing yourself the right to be human can, paradoxically, make you a far happier and more productive person.” - Dr. David M. Burns. Not only is this not about being perfect. It’s not a season of working to get good enough for God. I don’t care how much chocolate you eat, what you’ve done, how much weight you’ve got – God Loves you. Period. If you don’t believe in him – that’s fine. Just know that you do NOT have to get good enough. You are loved no matter what. Put that on your mirror for the next forty days.

9) Focus on abundance rather than lack. We tend to focus on lack during lent – what we’re “giving up”. Focus on what you are getting by going within – awesome connection to the spirit in a powerful way. Switch your mindset from Unhealthy Voice to Healthy Voice.

10) Set an intention. For me it’s making sure I’m strong within and continuing the healing work in my relationship with God I need to do. Think about how you can go within and set an intention that goes beyond whatever substance you are giving up to get clear.

Okay, I think that’s enough work for you for 40 days…. Enjoy going within…

This has been the topic of the week. I’ve seen articles, facebook posts. I’ve gotten emails and texts because yes, I love this topic and makes me get very excited for my book to come out this Spring!

Here’s my perspective….Is this a public health problem? Yes. Do we need more access to fruits and vegetables over the more sugary processed stuff that keeps us sick and can government help us with that? Yes. That would be very helpful! But it’s NOT the answer just like the government doesn’t have the answer to our obesity problem. I believe the power is in the individual. Let me tell you why.

Here’s a scenario first. I’m on the board of the Salvation Army Kroc Center of South Bend. Last Saturday was the official opening of this mind-body-spirit focused community center for families in the area. So I’m behind a table and we’re signing people up for fitness activities and the Unhealthy Voice (Sugar triggers) start to show up (on a day when we’re opening a totally awesome holistic wellness center).

Someone brings us sitting at the table 3 huge plates of sugar cookies “for fuel”. I thank God I brought my apple and peanut butter snack so I don’t touch that cookie. I know some of you reading this might go. What? (Well, here’s what I know it does to me: It will 1)make my blood sugar rush through the roof, 2) make me want the whole plate and hungry for the rest of the day, 3) make my stomach hurt, 4) make my mind not be able to stop thinking about sugar 5) and in the long run make me start gaining weight because I’ll be back in the game with the sugar and hating myself for gaining the weight. It’s a crappy cycle. I digress.) About 10 minutes later a child comes up with his mom who is about 10, overweight, and he b-lines right for those cookies. There is nothing stopping him. The mom doesn’t take a second thought. The woman next to me can’t get them in his face fast enough. He plowed through those like a freight train. Now, I didn’t see the sugar as “Oh that’s bad.” No. No judgement here because I’ve plowed through my day of sugar. I looked at him with a knowing in my gut of what that is doing to him. He’s getting a total high and he is devouring it so fast because he wants it that bad, because it is like a drug you can’t get enough of, fast enough. If he keeps going he could get diabetes. He could lose his self-esteem because of his weight as he grows older and he could use food forever as his coping mechanism for life. I feel that kids pain on the inside.

I’m grateful I don’t have to pick it up today and it is NOT because I’ve got some awesome willpower. NO way. I wouldn’t have been sucking that stuff down my whole life if I did. I had enough of it and I just needed someone else to take it out of my diet. I needed people who’d gone before me with it and I needed to get knowledge around why that stuff makes me nuts. I still need those people and I still need a food plan that keeps me off it.

I’m not a scientist, grateful for that, but I’ve worked alongside experts in my own journey of getting off sugar, like Dr. Pamela Peeke, MD “The doc who walks the talk” who first called my sugar addiction out years before I even saw it. I’ve also worked alongside them in my professional journey at Department of Health and Human Services. But when I was there – childhood obesity was just starting to get attention so sugar wasn’t on the radar. Yeah, eat a little less but not so important. If it was I may have stayed a little longer. But the emphasis was more on “Let’s get kids moving and eating right to stop obesity,” and I left because I knew there was more to it for me. The “more to it” was finding out a few years later was what the sugar drug was to me.

But that’s in my book. The point here is that to me, I guess because I was there – I know government isn’t going to fix my personal addiction to sugar any more than they are going to fix my obesity problem if I’ve got it. Can they help with regulation? Yes because it will make it easier for those who want to get off it to do so.  But fighting government is a battle I’m not getting into today. Believe me I have fought the good fight and tried to get them to see, “There is more to this for me than just eating right and working out!” But me single-handedly trying to bring down some industry or fight them?  A losing battle. MY POWER is in taking care of myself mentally, physically, emotionally and making it my mission on this earth to empower others to get empowered so they can live empowered and by doing so empower the people they love. I am grateful I didn’t get the answer in government because it’s empowering me to empower you.

Blaming is an ugly face the Unhealthy Voice. If we’re blaming someone else or some big beast for our problems – we are NOT taking responsibility for ourselves. Who hasn’t done it?! There are many people I’ve wanted to blame for things in my life. It’s the victim card and it doesn’t work, especially if you are depending on some big industry like the incredibly powerful sugar lobby or the government to change things. My recommendation is to take a step back. Take a breathe. Think about YOUR power in this. Do you want to say, “They have to regulate this so I can stop eating sugar.” or “Once they start regulating it, I’ll stop eating sugar?” Do you feel empowered with that thought? I mean I know – any excuse to eat sugar, but seriously – haven’t you been giving the Unhealthy Voice that has been making you turn to it power long enough? Are you going to give it more power by saying, “I’ll fight you when the government says I can.”

So not worth the physical, emotional and mental insanity that sugar brings into the lives of those of us that are addicted to it. If they regulate it, great. Let them do their thing. Let those scientists fight on your behalf. But why not YOU fight for your Healthy Voice in your mind, body and spirit on your behalf. I spent toooo long wanting to blame those big guys, so much I even went into their faces by working in government. But it didn’t work. The only thing I could change in the end was myself and the way I was going to do sugar. Did I do it myself? NO. I had to get to a bottom with it. I had to get help from someone else who could get me off it and every single day I have to fight it, but I don’t crave it because I’ve got a plan that keeps me away from it. Do I want it sometimes, especially now that I’m going through grief? YES! But there is not enough sugar on this planet today to make me turn to it. I choose not to turn to it and if more of us CHOOSE NOT TO -more of us will feel powerful from within ourselves and not have to wait on government. How powerful does that feel? I don’t have to wait on government. I can make the change from within and for myself. This quitting sugar isn’t a willpower thing. It’s not purely a physical thing. It’s an insane mental, emotional and I believe spiritual thing. But in order to get out of that sugar addiction you’ve got to want you more than that sugar. You’ve got to want to live beyond turning to sugar.

So while you are figuring things out, I’m going to keep walking my road of the Healthy Voice. I’m going to choose not to pick it up today, or for this moment and I’m going to continue to do everything in my power to fight – not against any big institution but FOR your Healthy Voice. I’m committed to empowering your HEalthy Voice so that when your Unhealthy Voice comes up in life and wants you to turn to sugar or any other drug – you’ve got tools and you’ve got people to keep you strong so you do NOT have to do it – and that’s got nothing to do with government.

In case you want to see it, found a video on it too:

and another article:

http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2012/02/120201135312.htm

For people like me, getting off sugar takes something much more, much bigger than a 30-day sugar detox or just saying “I’m getting off sugar.” It took me getting entirely off it – not on my own power, but someone else’s. That someone else was God. He put the people in my life that knew better than me what I needed to do to get me off of it. It could no longer be an intention. It couldn’t be, “I’m stopping this tomorrow.” I needed help NOW. This was not something I could pretend I could do on my own or just do because I was committed to it. I needed something greater than me because I wasn’t so great at stopping the sugar myself. I see it everywhere, everyday. I see people giving power to the sugar, letting it run their lives. I’ve seen my mom go through it. I’ve seen myself go through it. I do NOT want to give that stuff power in my toughest moments, like the grief I’m going through today. That’s why I went back to where they prescribed me my food plan, because I knew that I wanted to get anchored in it again as I walk through this pain. Thankfully I wasn’t turning to it to ease my  pain. That power is gone, thank God. But I did allow it back in my life and it was just too close. Right now I’m too emotionally raw, and a little stressed to let it be there. That’s okay for me. I know what I need today.

We have seasons of emotional hardship, of stress, of pain – we can’t begin to think we’re alone and we certainly do NOT have to give that sugar the power. But the moment we surrender and realize there is something more powerful that can come between the sugar and us (I promise you it’s stronger than sugar) is the moment we get a taste of freedom. That freedom has given me a life and today it’s giving me the clarity to live as I walk through this grief without turning to that sugar one day at a time.

So if you are in your first minute, first hour, first day, or first few weeks of trying to get through no-sugar, just know there are ways – bigger ways than you can imagine, AND resources to give you what you need. You are NOT ALONE!

 To gain self-control, give God control.

 Author Unknown

I walk into the locker room and I see a woman who often shows up a few minutes late and doesn’t get a bike. She is on a mission to get up there and get one – like if she doesn’t get it, the world will end. In the past, I probably would have raced her up there. (Ha)  Today, my Healthy Voice says, “You get a bike, you get a bike. You don’t, you don’t.” I’m chatting with the instructor Lisa outside of class because I haven’t seen her for a few weeks. I walk in and the bees are swarming. You’d think it was Black Friday but in the spin room. Is there a sale or something? Lisa says, “Go grab my bike.” I look up and I say, “It’s taken.” At this point, I want you to think about what you’d do. Would you freak because you were waiting all morning to do this class and now this crew just threw you off so you have this huge desire to throw someone off a bike? Or….do you respond and adapt to the situation.

Because of the gifts I’ve received in my recovery I was able without even thinking to just say goodbye to Lisa and find something else to do. I didn’t have to huff and puff or tell someone I needed to be there more than them. In fact my Healthy Voice piped in pretty quickly and said, “You got a half-marathon coming up in one month from today (huh), how about jumping on the treadmill?” And so I did, and I actually ended up having a very nice run. Between my tunes and the old-timers next to me on the treadmills running at a nice clip – I felt good. I was exactly where I needed to be and didn’t think once about that spin room. What a blessing for someone who used to be a complete exercise addict. Even better, I took my time – picked up the pace, slowed it down, had some water. I enjoyed my run where before I would have been trying to beat those guys. Growth, is all I gotta say.

Friends, workouts are important, but they aren’t the end of the world if you don’t get the one you want.  If you don’t get in a class or you miss one, or you are injured – do something different or enjoy the rest. Variety and rest and two beautiful things when it comes to your physical health. If you are open to adapting, you’ll probably find exactly what you needed, just like I did today. My HP had a different workout planned for me and that’s cool. Going with the flow is a beautiful thing! (not saying I do it all the time – but felt grateful to do it with a workout today).

What if while you are trying to decide what it’s going to take to get you healthy right now, you didn’t just think about just your physical health? What if you thought about the rest of you? Don’t know if you know this – but newsflash. You are more than your weight. I know. It’s a shocker. You are a beautiful human being with emotions and a spirit that need nurturing too.  If you only work on the physical, you’ll be feeding the beast that is the Unhealthy Voice that wants to keep you on the surface and completely distracted from your deeper self. I know you are all about, “If I could just lose this roll, I’d be good.” Yeah – there is always something. I got a roll here and there too. How about this year considering not fixing yourself for your Unhealthy Voice, and just doing what you need to do for you because you deserve to shut that thing up and feel good in your skin?!

‘Cause here’s the deal – if you realize life goes beyond that number on the scale, you can start to realize you are more than it. If you choose that workout, that nutrition program – that thing that gets you grounded – you’ve got your first start. You are making a physical step despite how you may feel. You are now free to move about the cabin that is LIFE! Don’t mess with obsessing about your body, your pant size, your snacks – OMG it’s such a waste of energy. Let that stuff be your grounding and then move onto LIVING! I know it’s not easy. But that’s where I’m going to take you – in my book and on my website. You’ll be able through my story to see your own so you can let it go and finally get the tool to help you navigate life with food in it. THEN my website will give you all sorts of ways to live it every day. It’s an adventure I can’t wait for you to join me on. 2012 is going to be a GOOD year for us!

Until then…some mental food for thought…

This week I’ve been working on the Healthy Voice Manifesto. I’ve seen a lot of people whose brands have these on their website, so I thought I’d give one a shot. It helps you know what this Healthy Voice ™ thing is all about and essentially – gives you a taste of how you can tap into yours.

So when you are making your list of resolutions – consider these as another piece of the puzzle, not another thing to do – another way to know and love yourself even more. It’s probably what you haven’t felt like you’ve had permission to even consider believing. Permission – granted.

Enjoy and let me know what you think! Btw, stay tuned for a New Years Eve Post on what I’m doing to get grounded physically so I can go deeper into my Healthy Voice in the New Year.  Stay tuned for later in the week I’ll share with you how I’m starting off the new year in a way I’m pretty psyched about called, “My Physical Grounding for the New Year”

THE HEALTHY VOICE ™ MANIFESTO

This is about going deeper than your surface to live your most fulfilling life.

This is about being strong in your body so you can be strong in your mind and spirit, not more obsessed with your body. That’s not you – that’s your mind.

Your weight is just the result of your thoughts, feelings, and physical reactions to life. This is not about finally finding the zinger solution to the problem you think is your weight. You are distracting yourself by focusing on only one piece of the puzzle. Get to know yourself and everything that makes you who you are so you can begin to nurture the self that has been begging you to all along!

It’s about owning your power in your physical, mental, emotional and spiritual life. It’s about how deep you want to go, not how deep someone is telling you that you have to go. You get to go as deep as you want.

This is about knowing that life is about walking THROUGH life and all it’s ups and downs. No need to stop and fix you. You will get through it.

This is about letting that Healthy Voice within you shine for the world to see.

This is not about beating yourself up when you fall. You can put down the stick. You are done with that self-abusive perfectionist. This is about loving yourself, nurturing yourself and GROWING EVERY TIME YOU FALL.

It’s about knowing how to tap into your Healthy Voice in and around you.

This is about knowing that life isn’t a dress rehearsal and you got one moment – that is now, no sense focusing on the past or the outcomes of the future. There IS NO BETTER VERSION OF YOU, only a better way to live within you.

This is about knowing the people, the places, and the things that will keep you strong when you’ve got to navigate those things that trigger your Unhealthy Voice in life – because they will. The stronger your Healthy Voice is – physically, emotionally, mentally, spiritually – the more prepared you will be for life.

Change is the only thing that is constant in this life. No workout, diet, person, or thing can give you ultimate security, except that which created you. Rely on it.  Swim out halfway by getting grounded as you can in mind, body and spirit because I can tell you when life does happen – the workout and the diet won’t be enough to help you navigate your emotional self.

You’ve got that Unhealthy Voice. You can’t pretend it’s not there until you face the fear it thrives in. When you know it, what it’s made of, where it shows up – you can finally navigate it. Take away its power and you find your own power.

You don’t have to have a Healthy Voice. You GET to. You get to CHOOSE it every single day of your life instead of your victimhood. It’s called willingness and that’s all you need to hear it. If you are – it will take you on the ride of your life and keep taking you further and further on it. You won’t know what’s coming to you – because it’s much bigger and better than that number on the scale you’ve been told to believe is the ultimate barometer of success in life.

Meredith Terpeluk, Healthy Voice ©

http://vimeo.com/34046413

“Each life travels at it’s own speed and carries it’s own meaning. When we will reach the end none of us knows. So we run on until our seasons come to a finish and what matters is not only how we reach that line, but why.”

This guy is 61 with ALS. This team of girls he coaches found out and they said, “Let’s do this for Jim.”

My dad was 63. About two weeks before, I was with him in Austin, TX and I finally committed to completing the manuscript of my book. God said to me loudly, “Just do this Meredith. I’ll take care of the rest.” Then he took Dad. But, I can tell you, I haven’t let it stop me. I’m writing this for Dad. And I’m not stopping until the race is done. I know it’s part of God’s plan for me and I know Dad’s putting the wind in my sails to get it done.

Josephine, thanks for posting. Don’t worry – I know you are waiting for this book and I won’t stop until it’s in your hands. Remember what they said at the end, ”Maybe what matters is not only how we reach the line, but who crosses that line – with us.” You are writing it with me. Your inspiring notes and letters and our time together on the plane have inspired so much of my work. Thank you. I can’t wait for you to read it

Monday was a rough one. By the end of the day I was just out of it. The CDs I was making to send to my family weren’t recording. The pictures I was trying to print weren’t printing and then I get into the car only to hear a Nat King Cole Christmas song which pretty much made me lose it. Thankfully a few angels showed up to comfort me in my moment of missing Dad immensely. The next day was better – much better. But then the next day, yesterday was the day I got this flu bug. Somehow I powered through some of my book in the morning and a 2-hour phone call but then I couldn’t pick myself up off the couch and my tummy was crazy. I’ve learned in my recovery that when I have a physical challenge – it’s usually God’s way of telling me to take a step back and relax. Whether it’s a working out injury or being sick – there isn’t much I can do about it – except be sick and sleep. It’s permission to just BE because you can’t be anything else. You physically cannot be running out there with all the nut jobs on the road at Christmas. You have to be on the couch. So you deal with it and you embrace it. So that’s what I did. I’ve hated how it’s felt, miserable. But I’ve enjoyed it because I haven’t had to deal with the madness. I got a chapter done in my book that had to get done. I’ve talked to some dear friends whom I love. I got to Skype with my Mom. I’ve enjoyed being sick. I know the gifts will get wrapped (hopefully tonight), the packages will get sent. I’ll workout when I workout (although I do wish I could go to my favorite yoga class tonight). But it’s okay. I’ll go when I go.

When it comes down to it, what matter is this: I’m where I’m supposed to be, feeling what I’m supposed to feel.

Being sick the week of Christmas the year you’ve lost your Dad brings it all into perspective. It’s the little things. The people you love in your life and the ones you love across the miles. That’s it. Love. It’s not about the gifts, but the love. I saw a church sign the other day that said, “All we want is your presence.” It made me think of God and Dad. I know they will both be with me this week and all it’s bittersweet moments. I know Dad’s in heaven but I know he’s present with me every minute. I know he’s comforting each person in my family that he loves so much during this time. I know he’s shining down on Diane on her birthday today. I know he’s shining down on my brother Trey and my cousin Taylor. I know he’ll be with us at the Basilica on Christmas Eve and at the grotto when I light a candle for him. I know it’s going to be tough. But I know we’ll all get through it because that’s what Christmas is all about. Jesus is our present at Christmas and this Christmas we get an extra gift. We get an extra special angel with huge wings wrapped around us at the time when we need it most and that’s pretty special. Merry Christmas friends…

“Be where you are and be okay with that place”

                  A favorite yoga instructor and mentor of mine often uses this mantra in her classes.  At first glance, this seems like a fairly easy concept to understand and apply.  But is it?  I often reflect on this mantra and each time I do, I think of a new way that it can be used in my life.  This idea is much more than the simple phrase it appears to be.  It is an invitation to bring forth acceptance, peace, and contentment in one’s life.

I invite you to reflect on this idea and explore how content you are with yourself.  Not just overall, but in all the finite aspects of your being.  Can you accept who you are, even if you aren’t quite who you wish to be yet?  Can you accept your wobbly leg in tree pose or needing to lower your knees in chaturanga? Can you accept that you aren’t where you wish to be in your career?

We’re accustomed to setting goals for ourselves, accomplishing tasks, moving ahead, and keeping our eyes on the prize.  But what about right now?  What about being okay with where you are right now, embracing the moment, and for once letting go of what has been and will be.

Beyond the asanas that are practiced during our hatha yoga class, there is so much more that your yoga practice can do for you.  The practice of yoga is structured to bring unity between our body, mind, and spirit.  Often students begin their yoga practice hoping to stretch out tight muscles and gain flexibility, but soon realize the benefits that this ancient science can have on their minds and emotions.

If you haven’t tried it yet, what are you waiting for?

Namaste,

Roxie Sweikar, Instructor at Solace Yoga Studio

Mishawaka, Indiana

Perhaps one of the biggest gifts of recovery I have discovered is self-forgiveness. For years my disease made me feel immense shame and guilt that time and again perpetuated my eating disorder. I was stuck in a viscous cycle of acting in my eating disorder, hating myself for it and feeling like the only thing I had to turn to was food because I didn’t deserve anything better.

Today things are different. In this long and challenging process of recovery and discovering my healthy voice (for me recovery and my Healthy Voice are one and the same) I have learned to forgive myself. Not only to forgive myself for my past and the ugly things I have done in my eating disorder but also forgiving myself each and every day for being perfectly imperfect. God didn’t create me to be perfect and not make mistakes. What fun would life be if there were no lessons to be learned or challenges to overcome?

We have all done shameful things. Believe me, I have done some pretty sick things in my own sickness. Things I thought no one else could stoop so low to do, but in my support group I have discovered that this disease can get the best of anyone and that others have done exactly what I have. Others have done these horrible things and I can still love them. They are still lovable and the ones who can forgive themselves are the ones who have strong recovery and follow their healthy voice every day. I am still lovable despite all the things that have happened in the past and despite all the mistakes I make every day.

So then how do you even do this self-forgiveness  thing? Well, it’s not easy. Mending your relationship with yourself after any amount of time of self-hatred takes time. I definitely had to use the old “fake it till ya make it,” tool. For a period of time, I had to tell myself every day that I am a good person and that I am NOT my past.  The only things in the world I can change is this present moment. So even if a second ago I let my unhealthy voice take over, right now I can choose to listen to the healthy voice. It helps a lot to slow down for a second when the unhealthy voice takes over and breath for a second. Sometimes I say the serenity prayer sometimes I just take a couple very deep (very loud, I don’t really care anymore if people look at me weirdly) breaths. From there, I have a choice. I can decide to love myself. Part of loving myself, is choosing to listen to my healthy voice and telling my unhealthy voice to get lost (that is putting it lightly, my unhealthy voice has been mean to me, so from time to time I am mean right back at it!).

The guilt and the shame inside you, can literally eat you alive. Think how free you would feel to follow your healthy voice if that guilt and shame were not there. Part of getting rid of it is to forgive yourself for your past and the mistakes you make in the present. If God or your higher power can forgive you, why can’t you forgive you? You are stronger and better than your mistakes. Believe it.